I am FULL...

Lamentations 3:22-24

Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I said to myself, "The Lord is my portion, therefore I will wait for Him."

[Disclaimer: I'm not a Bible scholar, and don't pretend to be (although I am married to one!), when I talk about scripture, it's my take.]

Before the time of Moses, the Israelites where under the Egyptians' rule. They were slaves who were treated very poorly. Moses came along and, with God's considerable help, convinced the pharaoh to set the Israelites free. (That's a topic for a future post-the fact that God gave Moses all the power and help, but it was Moses who had to make the decision to go in and tell Pharaoh "Set my people free"....but I want to attempt to stay on topic...) At the point in time they were set free, they were overjoyed. They were excited. They thanked God for sending Moses to them. They were hopeful about their future.

And then... they came upon the Red Sea. They thought they were dead. The Egyptians were hot on their trail trying to kill them and they had no way to cross the water. And BAM!! Moses, with considerable help from God, parted the Red Sea. (Okay, don't get me wrong here, getting Pharaoh to let the Israelites free and the parting of the sea were accomplished COMPLETELY through God's power and might, but the instrument He chose to use was Moses. Moses wasn't a puppet, he had a choice in the matter, and he CHOSE to do what God instructed him to do. Therefore I am saying Moses did it with help from God but you could easily say that God did it with the help of Moses...but God didn't need Moses' help. If Moses didn't do it, God would have used someone else, or he could have caused something else to happen. But I digress...)

So there they all were at the Red Sea most likely believing they were all going to die, and BAM, the sea is parted. Not only did they walk across on dry land, God "unparted" the sea as the Egyptians followed after them, ending the fear of the chase.

And then.... they were out in the desert with no water or food. They thought they were dead. And BAM!! God sent them water from a rock and bread (manna) from Heaven. He told them to only take what they could eat and not to store it. He told them He would send more, a portion for each day. They didn't believe Him, they didn't have faith in Him, they didn't trust Him, so they gathered up the manna and tried to save it for the next day....and they got very sick from eating the previous day's portion.  They even complained, "at least we had meat in Egypt".  They had forgotten what that meat had cost them (see previous post).

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When I was going through my (second) divorce, I had been a Christian for quite some time. I went to church every Sunday and led a small group of girls. I listened to (mostly) Christian music. I professed faith. However, I didn't have a relationship with God. I didn't read His Word. I wasn't living my faith. I will, at some point in time, try to explain that in more detail, but for now, I want to write about this verse so I'll attempt to stay on topic!  When "he who shall not be named" left, I was completely broken and empty.  My whole world was shattered. The world as I knew it anyway.  I opened my Bible and allowed God's Word to comfort me, to heal me, to speak to me and to fill me up. I decided to believe in Him, believe His Word, to have faith in Him and to trust Him. 

Miraculously, in the midst of the turmoil of the separation and divorce (which was ugly to say the least), when my focus was on Him, I was calm. More than that, I really did have true joy, joy that surpassed all understanding. I can't say that I was always "happy" in my circumstances. In fact, it was gut-wrenchingly sad. But, every morning I would wake up and remind myself of God's love for me. I looked to Heaven for my daily portion and allowed Him to fill me up.

There have certainly been times that I, like the Israelites, have forgotten who's in control.  I have attempted to store up manna believing there might not be enough for tomorrow. I have attempted to figure things out that God didn't intend for me to worry about.  There are daily opportunities for me to make the choice to wait to receive what I need from Him.  That does not mean we are supposed to sit around all day waiting for God to put money in our bank account, food in our pantries, and gas in our car.  But it does mean we are called to TRUST that His provisions for us are exactly what we need for today....and that He will continue to give us what we need each day.  We shouldn't worry about tomorrow (Matthew 6:34), but know that He is faithful.

I have to remember this is a blog and not a book..... :D

Where are you today?  In whom do you trust?  What do you really believe? Does your life reflect what you say you believe, or do your actions tell a different story?  Are you waiting on the Lord or are you too busy gathering yesterday's old, moldy manna?

Psalm 81:10

I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt; Open your mouth wide and I will fill it."