Being a Hammer

I had a very interesting conversation this morning with my darling husband.  I've been struggling lately (story of my life).  I'm in the middle of a triathlon training group (Tri201).  I think middles of anything are difficult for me.  Beginnings are pretty easy--I'm excited about what ever it is I'm doing.  I'm pumped up and raring to go.  Beginnings are full of possibility.  Endings are fairly easy, too.  The end of whatever it is I'm doing is in sight and I can devote myself to finishing strong.

Middles are a different story.  The new has worn off.  It's usually more of the same of whatever it is.  The end isn't near enough to spur me on.

Middles are a struggle for me.  I begin to question what I'm doing.  Why I'm doing it.  By the middle I've forgotten what triggered the start and the end is too far away to be a motivation.  It feels like the end will never arrive.  Middles are work.

This morning I was in the middle of verbally processing (read: babbling on about something I don't quite understand trying to say enough words for it to make sense) when my dear husband gave me a great word picture.

He asked me to imagine a tape recorder and a hammer.  They are both tools used for very different purposes.  Obviously the tape recorder records and plays back...the hammer drives nails (among other things).  If the recorder "thinks" it needs to drive nails, it's going to break if it tries...and the hammer will never be able to record no matter what it does.  And if each of these tools strives to be like the other they are missing their individual calling. 

Furthermore...the hammer doesn't need a nail to be a hammer.  The tool wielder will use the hammer as He sees fit....for the job He needs it for.  It's not up to the hammer to a) try to be something it's not, or b) to find the nail to drive...it's just called to be a hammer and to be ready to be used.

Middles are hard for me because I miss the excitement of "learning to be a hammer" and I'm not quite ready to "drive nails"....I'm just "sitting in the tool box" BEING a hammer.