Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Determining the Cause/Finding the Solution

I read a beautiful poem the other day, written by this talented blogger.  It has haunted me ever since.  (quoted with permission)


I am a caterpillar
Cautiously climbing up the tree that is life
Stopping only to eat the leaves close by
Never going in search of that one perfect leaf
The perfect leaf that’s out of reach
Always sticking to the path I know
The one that’s been used by so many before me
The one that will be travelled by so many behind me
I look at that luscious leaf so many times
Desperately longing for it with all my being
It is always beyond my reach
Blocked by obstacles I cannot breach
Without warning on this summers day
I peer past the leaves and see the most brilliant sight
A being more perfect than I have ever seen
Floating ever graciously in its flight
Without hesitation, the butterfly starts its descent
Onto my perfect leaf
And at this moment I realise
That I was born to fly
Now; how does one become a butterfly?
You must want to fly so much,
That you are willing to give up being a caterpillar,
For ever.  
For years I have applied this metaphor of transformation to my life.  Every time I think I've grown wings, I realize I'm actually just falling off the stinking tree!!  Slowly I make my way back up, inch out onto a limb, and I moult...hoping this will be the last time. 

Did you know that a caterpillar is an eating machine after it's hatched from the egg?  Then it basically turns to goo before finally becoming a butterfly?  It's not like going into a little dressing room and strapping on a set of wings.  It's not even akin to a tadpole growing into a frog.   When the chrysalis forms, the caterpillar dissolves away and all new parts are formed.  That transformation takes an incredible amount of energy...which is why the little worm must eat everything in sight until it's ready to change!! 

All the steps in the process are important.


In the last post, I owned up to my blogaholism.  Now, I have another confession to make...every time I get a new follower, every time someone leaves comment on this particular blog*...I cry like a baby. 

Why, you ask? 

Here, unlike my other blog, I tenderly share myself with the world.  When someone clicks the "follow" button, or types out a comment, I know I am heard, that I am "seen". 

....I've been watching all you beautiful butterflies...wanting what I see you having.  Not your lives.  Although I love hearing about them... your haunted trips, your beautiful poetry, killer cats, how you hate your hair, your attempts at domestication, the yummy looking food you cook, your BOOBS!.....(I should stop before I link to every single life I'm following), it's not the particulars of your lives I want.

It's your ability, more than that, it's your willingness to write about your lives.  You might tell me I have that same ability, that same willingness.  The truth is there is something that stops me.  The only reason I haven't grown my wings yet is because I haven't been willing to give up being a caterpillar.

The solution is ...exactly what I'm doing right now.  I'm writing instead of reading.  I'm posting instead of just following.   Thank you for giving me leaves to eat!!!


  1. What a wonderful and inspiring post!! I loved the poem. And your words truly touched my heart. It is hard to go places that are uncomfortable, but we must in order to grow. Also, this is what Christ taught us too. He never stayed where it was safe - places where he knew he wouldn't get hurt. Along with vulnerablity comes the chance of hurt, but if we don't take that chance, we lose out on the chance to love and truly know one another too!

    I loved your caterpillar analogy. I too am guilty of not wanting to undergo change. Right there with you babe!

  2. Such a sweet post! I'm so glad you left a comment on my blog so I could drop by and follow you! It's an honor to be a part of this wonderful blogging community and I feel SO blessed to have you as my bloggy friend.

    You're getting there friend, just keep eatin' those leaves! :O)

  3. awwwwwww,,,the last comment almost made me cry.

    Thank you for giving me leaves to eat!!!


    Girl, what you wrote could have been written by me..blogaholism..try following 250 blogs. Talk about addiction! Talk about obsessing who is following me and how the heck I figure out who has stopped! And what's up with that? Did I offend? don't they like me anymore....bla bla bla the wheels can keep turning.

    ENOUGH ENOUGH..I had to stop following so many blogs. I now am at a very few,,and I mean few I follow. I usually visit other blogs, but NOT obsessively like I had for years...I was living my life through others. Sitting at the computer, reading about their lives, their homes, their stories, while mine was passing me by...

    The only reason I haven't grown my wings yet is because I haven't been willing to give up being a caterpillar.

    this really resonated within me sweet sister...I'm there too,,sigh...but my wings are trying desperately to break through...

    I think it's time!!

    love you..and I'm so blessed that you came to visit me because now I came and was touched, I mean fed some leaves by you..((Hugs))

  4. I'm so glad you're writing...I can't get enough of reading it!!

  5. Neat! Thanks for linking me! I just put myself as a follower on both of your blogs! BTW, I just started another blog too. Like you, I'm going to use one write about myself, feelings, family, etc. The other one is strictly to track my food journals. I just wanted a little more accountability than writing it at home. Like your other blog too. I'm a runner too. And the hair turned out good, thanks! :)

  6. Dana, Thank you for linking me and for your precious comment. You blessed my day! (And by the way, I do have my comments emailed!)

  7. I loved the poem, too. So inspirational.

    Thanks for linking me. I love making new friends in this bloggers world. I think that's what most people aim in blogging. To find support from other people in a world where it sometimes seems like nobody cares.

  8. I came to your blog on the whim of blogger - and what a lovely post. I know of another similar to you - she's found her wings enough to start writing some beautiful poetry.

    Keep on writing - you're looking good :)